Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Adventures on the arranged marriage journey IV

Here was this guy who looked great on paper, Good family background, mother golfer, the gent well placed in an IT firm, takes part in performing arts and media. He calls and one of the things he asked me was whether I drink. I mentioned about how I do enjoy my wine. But since july 2007, have probably had only 3 unfinished beverages..whats come over me ? I don’t know. I just don’t enjoy it anymore I mentioned.

The guy just took off and lectured on alcoholism. Mentioned about how strongly he felt about/against alcohol. Even mentioned, “if your matrimonial profile had also suggested you indulged in any moderate drinking, then we wouldn’t have even gotten in touch!” he also mentioned about how he “let go” of so many proposals just because of this one factor. I like wow!

He then went on to add about how he refuses to leave Chennai, how strongly he feels about alcohol and smoking. Well I don’t smoke and don’t like passive smoking too much, so we had one thing in common.

As for being in Chennai and NEVER leaving the city, wow. I don’t know. I didn’t have any fixed ideas on where I wanted to settle.(I was in Kolkata then). One thing I mentioned to this guy was that, he seemed to have 3 conditions, of which he was not ready to meet midway. Opine that a place to settle etc needs to be mutually decided. For me I was unable to “fall into” someone elses very rigid plans

I thot, since I am not really enjoying my social drinking, let me see what else this relationship will have to offer. One of the things was, the person seemed very self absorbed,”I am like this, I am like that” all this on the phone. And then I realized that the conversation invariably steers towards drinking.

He mentioned he liked to travel and would like to see places “We must one day visit Paris the most romantic city, and I hope to keep you away from wine tasting/drinking there”. I was like hello. Even in the hypothetical situation, huh ?

I then asked him “what if say we have a fight and to spite you I have a drink, now that I know it upset you so much “? He said, “I wont talk to you that day!”

Wow, while it was a hypothetical situation, it surely made me uneasy. I didn’t want to write off someone on just one glitch but it was difficult to even build rapport when everything steers towards drinking, although in his words it was “Alcoholism”.

Strong views. Rigid thots. No go.


DEEPA said...

really love to read your posts on arranged marriage... totally agree with you... most guys r such jerks!

Deepa Subbaraman said...

Hey Deepanjana, how are you ? Thanks for your comments on the post. While i dont mean to say the guys were jerks, i think its more of a lack of chemistry, or lack of views being in common :) CHeers, D

chocoliciousgal said...

hullo even in an hypothetical situatn...whts with the guy :O ????