Monday, May 26, 2008

Adventures in the arranged marriage journey III

One of these guys had posted a picture on the web, his mother got in touch with us and I was to call him. I did.

We fixed up a venue to meet him.. First he said we will meet at Firangi Paani, then he called up to say, no am fixing at the Oberoi, or was it the Leela(Bangalore), I just cant remember. The first thing I realized when I saw him? His photo in the matrimonial portal was at least 12 years old. It did not capture the bags under his eyes or his crows feet, so I was a little disappointed at the false impression created.

So, does it matter how he looks ?
NO !
Does it matter he faked an old photo?

And I decided to go ahead and chat with the gent. We talked from 19:30 to 22:00 hours. He went on and on about how he has a house in Chennai and how he was buying a Bigger car.

Stifling a yawn I mentioned that had a long day and would like to call for the bill. The guy the continued his droning. At 22:35 I stood up and said, we must be leaving. He called for the bill.
And we left.

When I got home I told my parents this was a no go. We have a communication gap. It would be a waste of time.
When we conveyed that it was a "no go" to his mother, can u guess what the guy did ? He sent me a 4 page sms!
He went on and on about how he spent a lot of time and “money” on phone calls in deciding the venue of dinner, and he spent good money on the dinner !!!! and to top it all, he felt we have some chemistry and that he wanted me to reconsider my refusal !!!

I couldn’t believe what I was reading and "politely" told him off.

So what’s bugging in this case :

1. Most of the time I am a little irritated at having to take the first step since the guys are either busy or need to be bullied by their parents to make the first move/call
2. Am usually not particular about photos etc, and believe the person in person is much more interesting(or not)
3. Its very important to have an intellectual conversation. NO I don’t mean world finance and politics, but a constant conversation on how WIPRO is sending their employees overseas, and how three bachelors from Wipro are sharing accommodation in Bangalore,or how he is thinking of buying a bigger car soon, is hardly intresting material to hear..
4. Thereon, when someone is stifling a yawn, and the other person is unable to understand it. There is a sure problem. A Yawn is a Silent shout. Even when mentioning, I want to call it a day, if a person continues to chatter, I would prorate it to a lot of areas in life, where similar communication might not be deciphered.
5. The last but not least, was the area on “money” and paying up. I used to usually rush to pick the tab, and say lets split the bill, or that I can pay etc. But this one time, I decided to listen to my mother who had mentioned “Behave like a girl”. Which I did. And the guy had a problem paying the tab for dinner. Note to self, be yourself!

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