So why the post on matrimonial advts and the entire process? Well, Let me start- Am single and still having a blast..altho there are times, when i do miss not having that someone to share..work keeps me busy and sane..
Being a traditional person at heart, I am also a part of the Arranged marriage “market”/Database
Some of my escapades on the "matrimonial interviews" are so funny :
Lets take Horroscope for now :
- Usually some people put up in their expectation “ stars like “Bharani, Puradam, moolam, etc are non matching stars. Please don’t apply.” Whew, so we just give up a really good possibility just because some jerk updated your time of birth wrong..like hello.
- There was a family in discussion for their son, who once asked my aunt regarding dowry etc and what will the girls’ father give ? My aunt was so angry she just stormed out and said you will have to pay dowry for our daughter. That Family came back a few days later, and asked wanting to look at proceeding further. My aunt said NO. The reason? This Family took the girls horoscope which showed that the Son would prosper a multiple times due to the Wife-to-be’s-stars! How greedy! They were of course politely declined. Whew!
- Then there are these boys who get on to “chat mode” decide they want to meet the girl. The guy wanted to come down from say Bangalore, and some old hag in the family, said the horoscope don’t match. Its like, Why not ask the old hag before getting on chat mode boy ?
Then there is "looks" which is a huge factor for most of Guys’s side :
- One family whose son is a stock broker in the USA was so keen on the girls look’s Apparently the guy has rejected a thousand photos just on looks. The mother even hinted he is so busy at work that he doesn’t even date women..one wonders perhaps not interested in women ? Guy is still single and pushing late 30’ but still very good on paper.
- Another guy was a complete narcissist. Very very obsessed with his complexion. Said he wanted a FAIR girl. “Fair as in foreigner fair” he later added. I must say the guy looked like the Pillsbury dough boy, fat, chubby and fair(yes by Indian standard) He actually added in every conversation, “when I was in Kuwait, I used to be even fairer”, Or “My friends say I am fair”, “My mother stopped me from drinking coffee, else I would get dark” I don’t get into the sun, or I will get dark..like hello!. I did worry, what if one of our offspring was “not as fair” as he was, would we love the child any less? He ofcorse had a very well rehearsed answer, But his narcissism and infatuation with his fair mother was a certain putoff.
Then is probably Salary/Income which is a huge point of debate :.
- One of the points I had written was I was expecting someone who makes a decent sum of money. Since the arranged marriage is a bit traditional, lets assume that men would take on a traditional role of bread earner. Well There was a gunk who apparently didn’t get in touch with me, because I had written that in my list of things I was looking for. So much for honesty.
- There are guys who are upset i earn more than them. If not the guys, its atleast some folks in his place. I would certainly not want competition at home.
- There are others who earn in dollars and compare salarys using the US exchange rate.How amusing. Listen buddy, if u are 5 indians sharing an apartment in your USD salary, and comparing with my yes “piddly” Indian salary. Don’t forget I get a whole lot of benefits like an apartment tp myself, and NOT having to share with others. Still want to compare with the US exchange rate ?
- The other side is those who seem very very agreeable when their sons are earning probably quarter of my salary. Certainly a put off, since it reeks a bit of opportunism.
- There was this guy who left his job to do a Ph.D. Well he was pretty upset about me being “obsessed” with my job/career. Actually I am not. But the guy seemed to feel very inadequate since he was on a students stipend and was havig a complex about it. Too bad buster.
- This next guy thought i needed to clarify, about what I meant regarding "looking for a partner earning a good pay packet" It turned into a whole discussion with this loser in the USA. Apparently does not have adequate income, and also said he is not interested in coming to India. And how was he expecting to support the spouse – Social Security one guesses.
Does it Matter what the guy earns ? Well it does. If one is used to a certain lifestyle and if pooling incomes could mean a better or continued lifestyle then why not ? While one thinks it’s a bit sensitive to talk about money, this is one of the primary reasons couples fight. How do I know ? I see it all around me. Wife is at home, and husband questions her spending. Or wife is at home, and expects husband to fund HER family’s foreign trips. Whew. Or wives who expect husbands to fund "gifts" for the entire family. There there are fights about whose money is it all..this certainly seems to be a cause for fights in most relationship....