Sunday, May 25, 2008

Adventures in the arranged marriage journey II

Other types which couldnt be slotted in any one category

  1. For Tamil guys overseas, the usual method say about 8 years ago used to be a la Hyderabad Blues. The guy who would come down and choose a girl in fivedays. SO all he did was see a number of girls. Coffee with one, lunch with the other and so on and so forth. Finally wanting an answer since he can now come in only after say 2 years, and he has spent his own money to come to India. SO now, the girl has to decide as per his convenience. And this still happens..
  2. There are some guys who think its very important to ask their “20 questions” which they do. One of the things, they would ask me is “how do u intend to manage home and career, after marriage”, I ask “HOW DO YOU ??” and there is silence.. either the question is not understood or maybe that is the answer.
  3. Then there was this guy whom I asked just as a part of the chit chat, “So, do you cook” he said confused “you are asking me questions, which I had planned to ask you” like hello. As for me, the men in our family can cook just like the women can. SO it was more like finding something in common. At home we share cooking and household work. You need to meet the guys in my family. The men can not only cook, most of them help in the kitchen even if the wife is a "house wife" and the man is working. In our household when all 4 of us are together, the sunday lunch is more of a ritual when each of us contributes in the cooking, right from salads, to chopping veggies to the actual cooking/stirring etc..its more fun that way and a great way to bond. SO its not some feminist line…
  4. Then there was this guy who was wooing me like there is no tomorrow. Very very aggressive, kept emailing, wanted me to write longer mails etc etc. Then I came to India. We were to meet. He came home with his folks. The GUY did not even lift his head to look and talk to me. I was a bit surprised. His folks were very sweet. After half an hour, I was getting a little frustrated with his two faces, since he was pretending to be shy in front of his folks. I asked his parents, “with your permission,can I take your son out” His mom said ”SO Sweet. Of course” We went out and talked. It seemed he wanted to pretend to be a”nice guy” in front of his folks. I was quite put off. Since am not much of an actress I realized I couldn’t put up with it for the rest of my life and called it off. U know what happened next? His father was huting us to return his photos..its not like I knew where they were. He sent us reminders on mail, saying, please return the photos, It was so bizarre.
  5. Then there was the forgetful guy. He and I hit it off. Went for lunches, dinners, movies and then he started forgetting dates he set up with me. I even remember watching the Omen movie with him. The guy made plans and then forgot. I asked his family whether he was being forced to look at “arranged marriage”? since its impossible that someone can be “forgetful” and still be rocking in his job. Does the forgetfulness also follow in his job ? Apparently not. I got my answer. He was not that interested.
yes i am taking my time compiling this this space for more :)

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