Sunday, December 14, 2008

List of Books that will never be written

  1. Aamir Khan “ Names for your pet dogs and other attention seeking exercises” Foreword by all the BIGG BOSS losers.
  2. Pakistan on “How to Get along  with neighbours and other fun stuff”. A Foreword by China
  3. Raj Thakarey on “ How to apply vanishing cream and just vanish during a crisis” a Foreword by Balasaheb.
  4. M. Karunanidhi “Nepotism and Polygamy be banned” A foreword by the Maran Brothers
  5. Rajnikanth “ How to avoid procrastination and join Politics ” a Foreword by Vijaykanth and Chiranjeevi
  6. Sonia Gandhi “Turning a blind eye to Christian conversions” A foreword by RSS
  7. Mallika Sherwat “Lessons in dressing up and acting “ Foreword by Mallaika Arora, Namitha, and Rakhi Sawant
  8. Shahrukh Khan “Make up tricks to look like Michael Jackson” A foreword by Michael Jackson
  9. Salman Khan on “Drive safe and be friendly at parties” a Foreword by Puru Rajkumar, Navjoth Sidhu
  10. Rekha on “How to age gracefully” with a foreword from the over made up Vyjanthimala Bali
  11. Achutanandan on “How to say the right thing at the right place and time” Foreword by R R Patil and Sarah Palin
  12. Sarah Palin on “Spend wisely, save Wisely” a foreword by American Auto Makers
  13. Maharashtra Police "How to be prepared for any situation" a foreword by Netas who keep them busy for personal errands
  14. Media on " How to report news that affects only the RICH" a foreword by all the newspapers that did not report attacks on Assam, or Chennai floods during the MUMBAI Terror reporting.
  15. Music Director Pritam " Make your own Music, Copying is a Shame" a foreword by Bappi Lahiri and Anu Mallick
  16. Pakistan on "Caught Red handed? How to blame it on the DOG, and other strategies" Foreword by Afghanistan and China


stan said...

hey D,

like i said i am partial to No.14 on the list. This was a fact when all the other disasters that happened earlier never got reported or publicised or talked about as much as the mumbai terror attacks. Never before have so many superstars and celebrities come together in outrage at this happening. Let me just keep aside all the other disasters and talk about two that happened in Mumbai. The bomb blasts on the suburban trains and the recent terrorist attack on the Taj etc. During the suburban train blasts there was no major outrage among the high profile citizens (educated and neo rich young etc) and the superstars as much as the opinions/solutions dished out during the terrorist attacks. Reason : the Mumbai blasts affected the common man who travel in crowded suburban trains packed like rats whose life is not of any much consequence. Just a token outpouring of sympathy from people who have never travelled by suburban trains ever. Contrast this when terror spreads its wings to the door step of places where the neo rich and the super rich frequent. Suddenly there are comments like 'I was at the Taj having breakfast two days ago'. 'The Oberoi is where i had a party yesterday'.'There should be something done right now about this'. When the same thing happens to the common man on a train, its something that can never happen to you but when it happens at your favorite watering hole, then the richie rich realises that they are not immune any longer. So create a huge furore so that steps are taken to ensure that their future visits to the coffee shops are well secured and peaceful like it used to be not so long ago. and what better for these stars and wannabe stars neo rich and super rich to give sound bites to the media who in turn are just waiting for these juicy titbits for entertaining news. When it comes to floods in Assam et al, these very people get down from their fancy cars, stand in a truck for fifteen minutes and give passionate announcements to the janta to donate old clothes and such stuff. And all this hype has only gone on to make the five stars more secure and the CST am sure is just the same juicy target it was for the terrorists on the day it was attacked and our suburban trains are just waiting for a crazy bomber to plan a peak time disaster.

Bhing said...

Sorry but I am pretty curious and a little confuse, why those books will never be written? Or am i missing something here?

Sudipto Das said...

Hi Deepa,

Bumped into your blogs and also the other blogs you follow. Good stuff.
You may wish to look into my blog - - you might like a few things. I try to capture all the interesting discussions and debates that we have amongst ourselves in this blog..

Deepa Subbaraman said...

Hey Stan

I totally agree that if it wasn't the Taj or Oberoi, would not have warranted so many celebrities/actresses and the ilk coming forward. After all the rumour was that the terrorists were targetting Malabar Hill not Dombivli/Dahisar know where the "Common Man" lives..

Yes am certainly a part of the citizens who is now thinking what next, and enough is enough etc..only because of the audacity and the cheek that the terrorists had. Think about it, the CST rail could have been any one of us...and thats chilling..

Deepa Subbaraman said...

hi Bhing,

Thats cool. What it means is, books are usually written by an AUTHORITY on a subject. But in this case, these are people in Denial, altho the book titles mentioned would actually reflect on them for sure..

Larry B said...

Interesting read.

Toasty said...

Deepa, you have an absolutely marvelous sense of humor and sense of irony!

HealthiaCynthia said...

I love this post-- I don't have all your references (being an apathetic Canadian-- what book will I never write? "A Vancouver Island Overview of World Politics" maybe)but I believe that I follow the irony. I want to read more of your blog now! I invite you over to my pretty pedestrian blog at

rakesh said...

tried picking the best one... couldn't do it...

Charles said...

I like you list. Very thorough. Thanks