Sunday, February 22, 2009

Adventures on the arranged marriage journey

My folks applied for a few advertisements in the various websites. This was in Dec 2008. I had to meet about 3 of them. Had taken a week off in the end of December to spend some time on personal stuff that was being put off under some pretext or the other :

a) Annual Health Check up(some details of the harrowing experience was in my earlier post) and
b) meeting a few prospective grooms

Guy no 1. made for good reading on the Tamil mat advt. He had written back to my folks saying he is travelling via Chennai and can meet up with me. He initiated an email and I met him at Spencer's. He had a french beard and wore a Fab kurta. Was really tall. And he wanted to know where we could have lunch. 

We zeroed in on THE DHABA on RK Salai. I try not to read too much into conversations or analyse them too much. So i have some vague recollections of him talking about being a fan of Rajnikanth, talking about his family. We both did. We then decided to get somewhere for a lime soda or so. He played Massive Attack in his car. I liked the fact that he tried to research me online. *cool* 

We talked some more. He spoke about his grand mom. I thought that was really sweet.  As i kept trying to guess if there was something here or was this just another good first date(I think i must have had a record first dates). He dropped me at the beach(marina) where my folks were. He said he would come along to say hello.  Though surprised, i liked that he was not "afraid" to meet the folks and the signals that such a meeting might give. 

As i walked him to his car, he said he had a really good time and that he would need some time to take this forward. He asked me about what i felt. I admitted i felt the same(i did have my doubts, fears and god knows what else, i came up with to protect myself, i think). 

He was so open.  Something made me want to give him a HUG. and for that fleeting moment i felt that this was right, and i liked being there. And then of course rational Deepa took over and shooed away the gut feel to gibberish.  I said "nice hug" and he said "Thanks" 

We kept in touch thro chats. And that week i met two others. While a part of me, felt almost guilty for going out with the other two, it just seemd so irrational, that after one meeting i feel i should stay committed to guy no 1. I think that was another sign, about how I actually felt about him...

I met him again in Bangalore. While he came to drop me home, my brother said "as a guy, i can say from the way he is behaving,  he likes you" I needed some neutral perspective. But wasnt sure, since the man himself hadnt said anything..

Something happened on Pongal weekend in Bangalore. Was sitting out with my mother, saying  am really nervous, like  am going to write an exam or something..i think i like this guy a lot, and the problem is, I dont know why. My mom in all her sanity, did ask me to leave it to the gods to show me the right way. 

We drove around the whole day, he took me to IIS campus and spoke in Hindi which was very amusing...we shopped a bit and finally stopped at CAfe Coffee day in RT Nagar.  I still remember what he looked like while he showed me the seat next to him. I said that i was tired of being in charge and for a change would like someone else to make the move. He said "fair enough"(he says that a lot tho, along with the phrase "boat loads") and held my hand and said "Are you as sold one me as I am on you" i Nodded yes. 

While it left me a little confused if that was a proposal or not..I was to return that weekend again to Bangalore. If not him, I thought i would certainly propose. Whats the worse that could happen.

It was the 24th of Jan. He wore a maroon Kurta and i thought he looked very handsome. 

He proposed. It was so straight forward and yet so romantic..We walked up the hill to a temple and while we walked down, he said, there were several moments he wanted to say this and now we are at the bottom of the steps --Will u Marry me ?(he said it in Tamil) I said Yes. 

WE are getting married in BOM on 23rd March


As for all those adventures on the arranged marriage journey, only helps me appreciate the experience. It all adds up and was worth the wait. And a "HA-HA" to all those who said i need to "tone down my expectations".  I always knew(although at times doubted) if there was someone at the other side of the spectrum searching for me, as i him. Turns out I was right and we met when the time and place was right. 

His name is Sriram Thiagarajan, and right now, I have no recollection of a life  before i met him...

6 comments:

Sriram said...

Now... when you put it THAT way, I do look like a cross between Brad Pitt (minus the spouse-hopping), Tom Cruise (minus the couch-hopping) and Kip, the sardar from The English Patient, who in my opinion is the most romantic character in movies.

Neil said...

Sounds like an interesting experience. Best of luck on the marriage.

chocoliciousgal said...

I really luved this post Deeps :)...especially like the ending ;)

vaidya said...

Nice post Deepa. Congrats again! :)

Diwakar Sinha said...

that was a good post..loved reading it..my congratulations on your marriage :)

Gayathri said...

I got goosebumps reading about this and a tear too .. :)I know exactly how you feel..it's so difficult to have faith that you'll meet the 'one' and not compromise for anything less.. deeps, because no matter what happens, that spiritual link you have with the one you truly love will always last and give you strength. And it definitely helps that he's tall, dark and handsome .. ;) ;) have fun doll .. cheers!